Part 102: You wouldn't believe me if I told you what this was.

So, I decided that I'll likely dick around with silly minor games or whatevers to commentate on while the thread chugs along so I can pretend like I'm contributing something. And I might try to do other Retsu Retrospectives.

Anyway, I saw something get linked in a Twitch chat. And that something caught my attention, alright.

I have no idea what I'm getting into. Every single thing here will be blind.



What in the everloving monkeyfuck possessed someone to make THIS I have no idea. It only has one resolution setting besides fullscreen, and this is it, so I'll be batch resizing all subsequent images by 50%. Yes, this seems to be exactly what it says it is. I hope to god it's short. Why am I playing this? I wish I had an answer for you. I saw it and knew it had to be done. There was no free will behind the decision made.



Oh god dammit it's as I feared. NOOOOO! This is obviously made as a joke, mind you, and it uses the ren.py dating sim engine, so it's as easy as it could have been, in theory, to crank it out in an afternoon or something. Still, this is going to be a mindrending experience, no doubt.



Oh, I know what to name my character if I get the chance to do so...




I do not like how this bodes already. Then again, there's no way this will be as hilarious as Hatoful Boyfriend was. I'm glad that game got what it was due, by the way, ChorpSaway's LP did a much better job than mine. And actually finished the thing, but DETAILS!



Is it wrong that I want to make a Nic Cage version of this idea? You know that someone has to be an exacting cocktail of insanity to actually put a screwball impulse bad idea into actual reality.



Our unknown self is confronted!



...I can't tell if I'm disappointed or relieved that Adam Sandler isn't EVERY character in this game.




Adam stands up for us! I can't tell if the lack of punctuation we've seen is deliberate or not...This really could go either way.



SUDDENLY, ROB.



There is nothing omitted from the last screenshot and this one, it was a jump cut indeed. Is it really an improvement in a situation to end up alone in a room with Adam Sandler?!



Oh dear, a dialogue choice. You know what, if I'm going to plunge into the abyss, I might as well do a cannonball!

>Option A
"Thank you, you're too kind!"



Lunch already. Why can't all games I play be so fast-paced?



The inherent silliness of this premise is losing its appeal, and I really hope there's more to it than that. Then again, such a reaction accurately recreates the experience of watching his movies!



I am rapidly losing hope. Then again, it's probably for the best that something like this remains a 5-minute gag and nothing more.



David returns. DAMMIT, I want to name my character! I have so many obscene ideas!



This isn't visible in the images most likely, due to being scaled down and only showing when I mouseover the window, but there are "skip" and "back" options, so one could see everything very easily here.



Apparently I'm some amazonian chick. Or just a beefy dude. Begone, David Spade!



Dear god NO! I do not want the next screen to be what I'm afraid it is!



I actually sighed in relief. Yeah, I'm writing this as I play it. Then again, this is using actual photos, so one hopes the RESOURCES to make... that... would be unavailable.



JESUS CHRIST GET DAVID SPADE'S DUCKFACE OFF THE SCREEN ALREADY! I'll backstep if I must, but thus far the top option has been the positive one...



Now that's a game over screen.

Alright, option 2 it is.



No, that isn't an error in the screen capture, the image is actually too small for the client area. To be fair, this is obviously not something the creator put actual effort into or ever intended to. I do not blame them one bit.



If any of you guys want to sum everything up here, just link this image.



And so we earn...



I once again will conclude that I'm not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed. THE END.



And I completely agree, author person!



And then it's back to the title screen. Really, the only thing that can sum this up is a heartfelt "why?" Now that I've completed it, this game was evidently made by someone called shrekyourself, so...kudos...? I think this is a rare case where someone would be much happier NOT to be given credit for something!